


oh, and your friends say “what is it? you look like you've seen a ghost”

by GenderqueerSpaceWives



Series: All of Time and Space, and I Run Into My Wife [6]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Nausea, Post-Library River Song, angst with a happy ending? at least i think so??, set anytime but probably during s12 because 13 is a Mess, there's also a metaphor about jumping off a cliff just so you're aware
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:10:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27577661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenderqueerSpaceWives/pseuds/GenderqueerSpaceWives
Summary: So she looks like she's seen a ghost? Well, she has. And she's not ready to face it.So what does she do? She runs. Because run away is what she does.So often. But this time, the ghost won't let her.
Relationships: The Doctor/River Song, Thirteenth Doctor/River Song
Series: All of Time and Space, and I Run Into My Wife [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1267433
Comments: 19
Kudos: 144





	oh, and your friends say “what is it? you look like you've seen a ghost”

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Run_you_clever_weasley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Run_you_clever_weasley/gifts).



> Did I spend all night writing this instead of working on my NaNoWriMo project or—you know—sleeping, like you're supposed to do at night? Yes. Did I also base this on a song that on the one hand gives me major Space Wives feels, but on the other isn't the vibe at all? Also yes. (The song is Sometime Around Midnight by The Airborne Toxic Event, if you wanted to cry.)

After a hectic day on 52nd century Earth, the Doctor decided the fam deserved a cup of tea before they walked all the way back to the Tardis. They could’ve taken the bus, of course, if only it hadn’t stopped going for the night. Really, one ought to think the future would have more functional infrastructure. But apparently not.

What the late hour also meant, was that none of the nice cafés she would have preferred were open, so they got their tea at a shabby bar where they’d had to pay extra to even get tea. But it was all fine. Another completely fine day, with nothing to worry about at the end of it. Sure, Graham might complain a bit tomorrow morning, but that wasn’t really cause for concern.

Everything was going extremely ordinary, actually. They were sitting at a small, round table at the edge of the room. Chatting and sipping their tea, taking a bite from what could generously be called a scone. It tasted good, at least when you drenched it with strawberry marmalade. All in all, it was a pleasant experience.

The Doctor threw a glance at the bar desk, where people crowded in their attempts to get a drink. One of them separated from the crowd, successful in getting their hands on a glass. She shook her hair, and the Doctor could’ve sworn sparks flew from the curls. The scone bite she’d just taken got caught in her throat. Coughing it up wasn’t a pleasant experience.

With a sip of tea she calmed down, and her friends frowned at her.

“Alright?” Graham asked, and she nodded.

“Fine.” She smiled. “Just got something in my throat”

They continued the conversation, but her eyes drifted back to the bar and her ears tuned out their words. Because on the floor—champagne glass at her lips—stood her wife. Dressed in a crimson mermaid dress and matching lipstick, and accompanied by a group of people the Doctor recognised from Luna University. One of them told a joke, and the entire company laughed. River’s lips curled, and the Doctor’s mouth was suddenly very dry.

“Doctor?” Yaz asked, and at the same time one of River’s colleagues elbowed her and nodded at the Doctor, who quickly turned her head back to her friends. “Are you alright?”

She nodded, and took a sip of her tea. It didn’t do much for her dry mouth. She angled her head up, glancing over at River. She gulped.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Ryan said.

River’s eyes met hers. Her tongue stuck out to swallow a strawberry from her champagne.

“Yeah, you’ve gone all pale,” Graham said.

“I have to go,” she mumbled. The table rattled when she stood up, and her chair slammed into the floor as she ran out the door.

Outside was dark and graciously brisk. She steadied herself with a hand on the brick wall, the roughness beneath her fingers bringing part of her back to reality. But that part was her hands, and her head still felt unconnected; floating in an amalgamation of disconnected images and phrases from her memory. It was too much, too nauseating, too real and too fake. She crouched. Closed her eyes, and wanted her head to be quiet.

She couldn’t do this.

Couldn’t go back in there and see her wife living her life, being alive, knowing she could never see her again. Never again kiss her, never again argue about the correct way to fly the Tardis, never again do anything with her except know she’s dead.

She swore under her breath.

Maybe she could text Yaz. Tell them to meet her back at the Tardis. No, that’s too far. They’d have even more questions. She could wait for them out here, in the dark. In the dark, where she’d never feel quite joyful, but where she’d never fuck anything up. A fair compromise.

“Are you going to stand out here all night?”

Standing in the door—leaning against the frame—was River. She’d crossed her arms, and she had a smirk on her lips and a glint in her eyes. Her champagne was nowhere to be seen, but the Doctor swore she could smell strawberries. Strawberries, alcohol, honey, and under it all a scent so familiar to her. The mornings she’d woken up to that scent next to her—embedded in the pillows, the duvet, in the Doctor.

And it brought forth another tidal wave of memories, and everything blurred. Her legs wobbled. And again—the nausea—as she fell forwards.

River flinged to catch her, propped her up between her strong arms and the wall. The Doctor flinched. She couldn’t allow this to happen. This was against every single one of her rules.

“Hey,” River whispered as she brushed the Doctor’s hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. “Darling, it’s alright. You’re fine.”

“No,” she croaked. It wasn’t fine. They were on the edge of a very dangerous precipice, and the Doctor couldn’t allow either of them to fall. She pushed herself away from River. “It’s not. This isn’t… We can’t. I—”

“Do you know what year it is?”

“What?”

“Tell me the year.”

“That’s one of those questions you ask unconscious people, isn’t it? I’m fine, I’m not unconscious.”

“Don’t be an idiot, dear.”

“52nd century. Easy.”

“That’s not a year.”

“Why do you need the exact one?” She looked everywhere except River. The street was littered with old fast food containers, cigarette butts, glass shards, newspap— “They’re all practically the same, it’s not like it matte—” Her voice faltered at the sight of the newspaper’s front page, the year clear in the top right corner. “But that’s not possible. You’re not… You’re not…” She looked at River.

“Supposed to be here?” She smirked. “Hello Sweetie.”

“But, you’re not…” the Doctor stuttered. “How are you here?”

“Disgracefully.”

“ _River._ ”

“I’m back at Luna. The last expedition was a bit of a bust. Dragged on for _forever_ , but in the end I got free from it.”

“You can’t be serious.” She couldn’t be, there was no way. The Doctor had gone through every option. Twice. She’d never found a way to get River out of the Library.

“I am.” River approached, and took the Doctor’s hands in hers. “I’m here, Doctor. And I’m alive. Really.”

“Did you know?”

River frowned. “Did I know what?” she said.

“When I said goodbye. Did you know you were gonna survive?”

“No.”

“Are you lying?”

“Only a little bit.”

And the Doctor couldn’t hold back anymore. She jumped off the precipice. She crashed into River’s body and River’s lips and _River_. And River met her halfway down, with a kiss that would’ve insulated any impact. But they didn’t crash into anything. They soared and River pushed her up against the wall and the Doctor wanted nothing more than for them to stay out there in the intoxicating, joyful dark forever.

“Doctor!”All her friends spilled out of the door, and River backed away, leaving the Doctor breathless and gulping.

“What’s going on, Doc?”

“You tell me,” she mumbled. “How did you even know it was me?” she asked River.

“Sweetie, please. Who else comes to the 52nd century dressed like that?

“Oi!”

“Also, I asked your friends.”

“What, you just went up to them and said ‘Who’s the idiot that ran out the door?’ ”

“We are here, you know,” Graham said. “But yeah, that’s basically what she did.”

“Who is she, Doctor?” Yaz asked. “And why did her friends keep us in there for like ten minutes?”

It had been ten minutes?

“Someone who really should know better than setting her colleagues on you.”

“Oh, you love it.” She smirked, and the Doctor bit back a grin.

“She’s Professor River Song. From Luna University.”

“Because that tells them so much.” River rolled her eyes. “I’m her wife.”

“You’re her _what now?_ ”

“And I’m also not dead anymore, so I suspect you’ll be seeing me. Or, not seeing me. Or her.”

“Is that a promise?” the Doctor said.

“You bet it is.”

“It’s late.” The Doctor tried to keep her voice innocent. “We should get back.”

“Where did you park?” River asked, and the Doctor mumbled something incomprehensible. “That bad? Good thing I’ve got my car parked right here, then.” She stepped to the closest car and tapped its varnished roof.

“Are you sure that’s really your car?” the Doctor questioned when it took a second for River to open the door. “And that you’re not just stealing it?”

“Get in, and don’t spoil the moment, Sweetie…” River said with a smirk. “And you’re one to talk about stealing vehicles. Remind me again, where did you get your Tardis from?”

“Shut up,” the Doctor grumbled.

“Not a chance.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I would love some motivating comments to get me to actually work on the long Space Wives fic I'm writing (don't expect to see it soon though... I am a procrastinator and slow writer at heart) so if you're feeling up to it, that would be very much appreciated! If not, that's completely fine, and I appreciate you reading this<3<3


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